‘Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.’
Exactly. When people say that stupid questions do not exist, I always say: YES, THEY DO! Actually, I would rather call them limited questions.. because I have always believed that limited questions do exist, despite what people say. I speak from what I feel, as I always do.
But first things first. Let me explain why.
First, do not judge others! Yet.. we all judge, but not in the same way. Do not judge in the way people often do today: criticizing others, shaming them, mocking them or trying to tear them down. Remember, when you choose to mock or diminish someone else, it often becomes a mirror of your own hidden fears, insecurities or need for a false sense of superiority.
So, if you are going to ‘judge’.. do it through observation and analysis, for yourself. Use it to understand people and, ultimately, to understand yourself.
That is why I would rather say that you can evaluate a person by the way they think and by the questions they ask. Questions can reveal a great deal about someone.
Then.. as I said, LIMITED questions do exist. Superficial, empty questions, without sense or substance. I like to choose my words carefully and express my thoughts as precisely as possible.. to be clear, direct and straightforward. To be understood and leave as little room as possible for assumptions. That is why I love writing.
So let me explain why I believe limited questions exist.
Simply because some people have limited perspectives and limited consciousness — restricted awareness. Some prioritize form over substance. Some want to put you into a certain ‘box’, so they ask questions designed around that box.. questions that leave you with no way to answer except within the limits they have already created. You feel limited. You feel it, and you know it, because you are outside that box and they want you in.
You cannot answer yes or no to questions that require an explanation of your point of view. Context is missing.
And that is how I feel very often.
After someone asks me a question, I sometimes have the feeling that they are trying to label me or place me inside one of those popular ‘boxes’. And I cannot breathe there.
So I either refuse to answer, or I try to open a real conversation by asking them what they actually mean and what they are really trying to understand.
But people generally do not expect unfamiliar or unconventional answers. They make people uncomfortable. People are often afraid of what they do not understand. And then they may even become angry because you did not give them the answer they expected. They wanted a simple answer that would allow them to classify you and put you somewhere.. into one of those popular ‘boxes’.
People like clear categories. When an answer does not fit a familiar box, it can create discomfort. What does not match their expectations can trigger uncertainty, fear or even anger because their sense of predictability is disrupted.
People who do not understand you may call you crazy, complicated or difficult.. just let them. It is not necessarily about you; it may be about them. They create an image of you based on their own limitations, and those limitations often reveal themselves in the questions they ask.
Do not dare to cross that limit.. do not you dare.
They see the world through their own small window. They feel safe when things fit their rules. They project their own fears and doubts onto you.
People are afraid of what they do not understand. And instead of opening their minds, learning something new, expanding their horizons and making an effort to understand you, they may simply decide that you are ‘complicated’.
Without ever trying to know the real you.
You can tell so much about people by the way they ask questions.. even their intentions, including hidden ones. Intentions speak about who we are. Not only our actions, as people usually say.
If you pay attention, you really can learn a great deal about someone from the questions they ask. The way they think. The way they live. The way they see the world. Not only through their answers.. but through their questions.
That is why I believe limited questions exist.. because questions are only as limited as the minds of the people asking them. Like questions, like the people asking them.
Notice when your own thoughts cloud your view.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.