Hello you beautiful soul! 💙🙏🏻
Be careful who you start dating.. Some people are ready for a wedding, not a marriage. Some people are ready for a baby, not being a parent.
Truer words were never spoken!
So many people mistake love for lust, commitment for attachment, being responsible for having an obligation, kindness for flirting.
We live in a very messy world. No wonder there are so many unhappy relationships, people.. people are lost between their hearts and what others tell them what they should be doing.
Hence why before you date someone seriously..
‘A first-date question: ‘How aware are you of your traumas & suppressed emotions and tell me about how you are actively working to heal them before you try to project that shit on me.’
We still live in a world where most people are unaware of themselves and their lives, the beliefs they live by. We also live in a world where there is still a big stigma and taboo to talk about mental health.
It’s easier for people to insult someone than to be honest and talk about their feelings.
It’s easier to pretend to be someone they’re not, than to be who they really are.
Is it actually easier? I wouldn’t say, because situations like this that people create only further complicate their lives and it only feels like a burden.
How much easier would it be if people communicated honestly from the very beginning, before entering into a relationship? How many divorces/breakups would be reduced in that way..
However, people like to wear masks in order to be accepted. But those masks cannot be worn for long and then when they fall off.. sometimes you feel as if you are in in the twilight zone, wondering who daf is that person next to you anyway?
So.. Steeep back. Don’t touch my aura with your dirty hands!
No, really, we all have our past traumas and that’s just fine! The thing is what we are doing about them.
So please, before you start bleeding on someone who didn’t cut you, heal your traumas first. Or be aware of them and talk to your partner openly..
Be careful who you start dating with.. a lot of people ain’t looking for love, but help.
Because your partner should not be there as your therapist or to entertain you or be your garbage bin.
Yes, we should help each other, instead of giving responsibility to others for our lives. I hope you understand the difference. It’s one thing to have security in a relationship and another to be a victim in a relationship.. it’s exhausting.
And stop blaming your ex-partners for everything. Don’t go around talking bad about them. Let me remind you, they were your ‘choices’. Once they were good for you and probably great love. Oh, I know, some of you will say, yeah, that was a huge mistake. But was it?
First of all, that is your private thing. Secondly, you can talk only from your own perspective.
And speaking bad about your ex won’t make you a better person. Nor will you heal or feel better.
So, find the reason why you are no longer together, learn your lesson and take responsibility for your actions.
Be mature and responsible, take your time to heal, to learn what did you like and what you didn’t about them, what made you feel good, and what didn’t.
Otherwise, you will attract the same kind of partners and you will share your traumas with them. And trust me, no one deserves your garbage. Just like you don’t deserve crap from others.
No one deserves to receive trash. We all have ‘trash’ but we shouldn’t pass it on to others, but get rid of it in the right way.
Connect with yourself, be who you are. Be honest from the start.. the one who accepts you as you are is the person for you. Be who you are, instead of changing to be accepted. Hiding the things you carry inside you, can significantly affect the course of a relationship.
And no, I’m not talking, open up about your life since birth.. talk about problems.. No no, I hope you don’t understand it that way. What I’m saying is to be aware of yourself, your difficulties, traumas, unhealed wounds if you have them.. and talk about it, communicate. Talk about everything not with the intention of complaining, blaming others for/passing on others your insecurities, but with the intention of building a relationship based on honesty and trust.
So be aware of yourself, your triggers and stop projecting your fears and traumas onto others.
And accept no shit from others. Be responsible for yourself, your decisions, your life.
Before you start dating and before you commit seriously to something bigger, like marriage or having kids.. make sure that you have healed your past traumas, or that you are aware of them and that you actively do something about them.
And be careful who you start dating.. because lot of people ain’t looking for love, they are looking for help. Send them a bill or send them to a therapist. Otherwise, you may end up drained.. If you don’t know where you are heading to.. step back and ask yourself how do you feel? Do you feel loved or do you feel drained?
Depending on when you’re reading this, I wish you either a beautiful day or a good night, you beautiful soul!
Love and namaste,
Irina 🦄💙
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