‘Be honest with people about who you are, what you want, and how you expect to be treated. Standards only scare off people who are not meant for you.’
Being honest with yourself and others creates a strong foundation for relationships and naturally attracts people who align with your true values and.. the life you want to live. Clear communication saves you time. People know exactly where they stand with you.
So, first.. be honest with yourself. That is where it all starts.
Because if you are not honest with yourself, you cannot be honest with others. And that destroys relationships.. any kind of relationship, especially a romantic one.
Always focus on expressing what you think and feel honestly and respectfully. Do not focus on how someone will react to what you say. That is another reason relationships are destroyed and gradually become unhealthy. People lie in relationships for many different reasons. One of them is fear.. fear of how their partner might react if they honestly expressed what they feel and think.
Truth creates trust between partners, whereas hiding your real feelings creates a breeding ground for anger and resentment.
And so, seemingly small things.. ‘innocent’ lies.. accumulate and eventually turn into a much bigger problem.
Oh, how wrong that is!
Learn to be comfortable with other people feeling uncomfortable with your decisions, your standards and your boundaries.
BOUNDARIES ARE CRUCIAL and must come from a place of self-love and self-respect.
Boundaries exist to protect you from anything that takes away your peace or does not serve your well-being. They protect you, your peace and your health.. they are not there to offend other people.
So.. accept other people’s temporary discomfort. Do not try to fix their negative feelings. Instead, remind yourself why you established those boundaries in the first place.
Be honest about your needs, expectations and standards. Be honest about how you feel, especially when you are in a relationship. Both of you decide what kind of relationship you will have.. but it must be built on honesty, respect.. and healthy COMMUNICATION.
Do not say things simply to please others when they are not true to what you feel. State your needs without fear. Stay true to yourself, no matter what. Lose them, but never lose yourself.
Because..
People come and go. But you are always there. With yourself. In fact, you are not ‘with yourself’ as if there were two people there.. you simply need to always be YOU. Your integrity and your standards should stay with you wherever you go.
And.. you are the one who chooses your environment. Choose people who accept you as you are. Not people who make you explain your existence or justify the most basic things about who you are.
Do not forget.. treat and respect others the way you would want to be treated and respected.
You are not responsible for how other people understand you.
You are responsible for your words, for what you say and what you do.
Be impeccable with your words. Focus on expressing yourself clearly. Practice healthy communication. Sort through your thoughts before you speak.
Things you say or do cannot be unsaid or undone.
Be honest. But do not confuse honesty with rudeness. Be careful HOW and WHAT you say or do. Express your thoughts clearly without attacking the other person.
Know your INTENTIONS.
And nurture your relationship by NOT avoiding difficult conversations. Nurture it with honesty and love, even when everything seems to be falling apart.
Having difficult conversations with honesty and care builds a stronger bond between the two of you. Truth builds trust from the very beginning.
The rest is history..