‘Just because someone is ‘family’ doesn’t mean you have to tolerate lies, chaos, drama, manipulation and disrespect.’
The belief that blood makes us family and that family must stay together demands endless tolerance of damaging behavior. No one should accept abuse or harm from anyone, let alone from a family member. You do not owe anyone your peace, safety, or well-being simply because you share DNA and blood.
No, we are related because we share blood. Being a family is much more than that, and if family members mistreat you.. they stop being family in any meaningful sense. Love is what makes a family, not blood.
So.. this is just one of those deeply rooted beliefs that should be questioned and, if you believe it is necessary, changed.
That is why I would like to tickle your brain a little and make you wonder and ponder.
Just because someone is family, related to you by blood.. it DOES NOT MEAN that you have to keep them in your life if they are harmful to your well-being.
Blood sometimes means nothing. I know this firsthand.
I get chills whenever I hear: ‘They are still your family..’
This belief allows many people to take advantage of and abuse other members of their family. They think they have the right to do so simply because you are family, and therefore you are expected to put up with it. They consider it normal.
That is how we live. That is how we have been taught. That is how we have made it normal. But is it NORMAL?!
It may be common, but it cannot be normal. Common or habitual does not make something normal.
That idea of ‘normal’ has made many people unhealthy.
Sharing DNA does not give anyone the right to harm you, disrespect you, or damage your well-being. You do not owe anyone a place in your life simply because you are related by blood. Protecting your peace and setting firm boundaries is a healthy choice, not a selfish act.
If they bring nothing but trouble into your life.. and even after you tell them how they make you feel, they still refuse to change anything.. choose to save yourself. Break the cycle.
Yes, you decide. Decide not to accept something ‘abnormal’ as ‘normal’. Explain it to them, and if nothing changes.. change yourself.. change the way you think and act.. and choose to cut contact with them.
They might get angry.. so be it. Instead of reflecting on their behavior, they may simply become upset because: what gives you the right to do that? They are family! Blood! How dare you leave the family?
So they manipulate you even further, doing everything in their power to make you feel bad. They might shame you, blame you.. blackmail you.. because they have lost control over you. They weaponize family ties and shared blood to regain dominance. They shift the blame and make you responsible for their actions to avoid taking accountability themselves. They use guilt and shame to force you back into old patterns.
Resist. Stay firm.
Dear, if this sounds familiar to you, do not ever feel bad for saving yourself. These are all signs that should tell you that you did not actually do anything wrong. You made the RIGHT DECISION and SAVED YOURSELF. But you also saved those who come after you.. people whom your decision and courage may help break free from toxic relationships, manipulators and abusers.
It hurts me deeply to see situations like this. Because I have experienced it myself.
Are you aware that, very often.. a child’s first bullies are their own parents?
Many people grow up adopting these patterns of behavior, believing that this is simply how life is meant to be lived, and then pass them on to the next generation.. break the cycle, please! For yourself and for the generations that come after you!
No.. it is not normal to be a victim of abuse.
No, it is not normal to remain silent and accept oppression as something normal.
No.. it is not normal to suffer because of your family.
No.. it is not normal to live with those who cause you pain.
Normalize these!
Just because you can take it does not mean you have to. Be brave for yourself. Stand up for yourself. Speak up!
And remember: Blood does not make someone family. No. Blood makes you related, but love, emotional support, care and loyalty make a family.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.