‘Did that person lie to you about who they were? Or did you lie to yourself about who they were?’
We do not see people as they are. We see them through the lens of who we are. It is not about them. It is about you. Your perception says far more about you than it ever does about them.
Let’s start from the beginning. Everything starts with honesty and self-love. You have to be honest.. with yourself.
You need to become aware of who you truly are.
When you are honest with yourself, it reflects on everything else. So when you like someone, you will see that person as they are and accept them as they are. Yes, you might romanticize them.. but you will be aware of it, and that makes all the difference.
So.. do they lie to you, or do you create an illusion of them? Be honest with yourself. Most people never dare to answer that question honestly.
When you are in tune with yourself and honest with yourself, you will not ignore warning signs. Your intuition is trying to tell you that something is wrong.. so why ignore it?
You will be aware of it, so you will rarely try to change your opinion of someone, no matter how much you like them. You may be cautious, observe, analyze and talk things through.. but you will not be blind.
The same applies if someone lies to you about who they are. Be careful.. because energy never lies. Neither do consistent actions. When you are in tune with yourself, you will notice that something is off. You will discover who they truly are simply by listening to your intuition. You will pay less attention to their words and much more to their energy and actions.
You cannot unsee consistent actions, can you? Well.. some people choose to close their eyes. And then they blame others for the darkness they chose not to see.
And even if someone has lied to you about who they are, and you trusted them.. every lie eventually comes to an end. Nobody can pretend forever.
I am sure we have all been in situations where someone lied to us.. or where we created an illusion of someone. But the real question is this: When you discovered the truth, when your eyes finally opened.. what did you do? Truth changes nothing until you decide to act on it.
Did you face reality.. or did you continue feeding the illusion, choosing to believe the lies?
Unfortunately, we live in a world where many people are disconnected from their true selves. They are not even honest with themselves. They think one thing, say another, and who knows what they end up doing.
They are anything but their true selves.
Many people create a false image of themselves based on what society expects from them… or to please others, seduce someone or make a good impression. Most of the time they do not even think about it consciously. They simply do it by default. Their goal is usually to be accepted. To be loved.
They would rather tell you what you want to hear than tell you what they truly feel. And that is dangerous. Because comforting lies have destroyed more lives than uncomfortable truths ever will.
And ironically.. that is exactly what prevents them from being truly loved.
Because you deserve to be loved for who you are.. not for some fake image of yourself.
There are also those whose only goal is to satisfy their own needs. They will say whatever is necessary, tell whatever lie is convenient, only to get what they want.
If you feel that something is off.. what do you do? Do you simply believe them? Or are you believing what you want to believe? If so.. why? Or do you ask questions, seek clarity and remove your doubts?
Sometimes the questions you avoid asking reveal much more than the answers you receive.
It seems we live in a world full of lies and pretense. As if there were an Oscar for the best liar. Only this is not a movie performance.. it is a real-life performance that leaves real scars on other people.
No wonder authentic people are so rare. Authenticity requires courage. Pretending does not. And, as always, I want you to focus on yourself, not on others.
Are you authentic?
Are you true to yourself?
Are you honest with yourself?
And with others?
You have to be fucking honest with yourself.. This is where many people fail. And there is nothing more dangerous than self-deception.
Do you communicate lies.. or honest emotions, feelings and thoughts? So many relationships are built on lies, manipulation and illusion. Very often both partners know it.. yet they choose to stay in an unhealthy relationship.
Remember.. We are only as blind as we choose to be. The truth is usually visible long before we are willing to accept it.
If you choose to believe lies.. if someone repeatedly shows you who they truly are and you still choose to create an illusion.. dear, once again.. it is not about them. It is about you.
Do not blame them for your blindness. Do not blame them for lying to you if you choose to ignore the truth standing right in front of you. That responsibility is yours. No one else’s.
People will lie. Gaslighting, ghosting and manipulation will always exist. But when someone shows you their true colors.. or when you finally discover them.. what you do next is entirely up to you.
Everything starts with ourselves. Be honest with others. Do not play emotional games.
There is nothing more cowardly than manipulating another person’s heart.
Trust. But never be blind. Choose — and create — relationships built on honesty.
Everything changes the moment you stop lying to yourself. Because every healthy relationship begins with two honest people.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.