‘Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?’
My immediate answer was: NO!
It did not take me long to answer, and it was not an ego-driven response. To make sure my answer was genuine, I paused and looked back at my past.. once again, the answer was a flat-out NO!
The only person who made me hesitate was someone connected to the severe accident that led to countless surgeries, endless complications and many of the consequences I still live with today. If I were given a second chance, it would only be to save myself and tell him to fuck off.
How can I be so certain? Because I always give one hundred percent of myself. I act from my heart and out of love. I do it because of me and for me. So I have nothing to regret.
As for everyone else..
Have I had bad experiences? Of course. Many. Many painful experiences and many people with bad intentions. But again.. I see no reason for a second chance. Not even to save myself by running in the opposite fucking direction.
Those bad experiences are there for a reason, and I learn my lessons through them and life itself.
Giving someone a second chance would not change that.
Yes, maybe I could have run in the opposite direction the moment I met certain people and spared myself all the bullshit, damage and poison they brought into my life. But the same lesson would simply have arrived wearing a different face.. again and again, until I finally learned it.
Yes, maybe my life would have been different. Maybe better. Maybe I could have avoided the motorcycle accident, countless surgeries, endless pain, certain people.. the list goes on. Maybe I would have had this or that.. but I did everything from my heart and out of love. It is not about other people or the situations I went through.. it is about me. So.. NO!
I know that I always gave my best, so with a clear conscience and peace in my heart I leave the past behind. No second chances, no regrets.. no, no.
I do not say this lightly or out of arrogance. By giving my whole self, I always gain something, even from the worst experiences. I give everything I have until the very end.. I go all or nothing. Even when things do not turn out the way I hoped.. I am there until the end.
I have never had the mindset.. or the heartset.. of calculating whether something will succeed or not, or how much of myself I should give.
First, because I follow my heart. Second, because I never do anything half-heartedly. And third.. what is the point of constantly wondering whether something will work out or not? We always hope things will work out, otherwise we would never begin them in the first place, right? Whether something succeeds or not does not depend on the air you breathe.. it depends on you and, in a relationship, on the other person too.
I also know that many people live disconnected from themselves and trapped in illusions. As a result, they carry many regrets. So I understand why their answer to this question would be yes.
Regret often exists because people allow fear to stop them from expressing how they feel, from communicating, or because they believe thoughts such as: ‘What if it does not work out?’
And that, my dear, only prevents you from truly living. Do not let yourself live with regret. Be aware of the choices you make. Where do your decisions come from? Do you believe your fears and follow them?
When I meet people, I meet them exactly where they are, not where I want them to be. I have no expectations. If I choose to know someone better, it is because I genuinely want to, because I like who they are.. not because I expect something in return. I do not need them. I simply allow things to unfold naturally, without forcing anything. I navigate.
I go all or nothing. I would rather take a risk and try instead of living in regret that I did not try.
And of course I like all people. Some I like to see every day, and some I like to spend the rest of my life without. That is acceptance. Those are lessons learned. I am open to everyone.. but I choose what and who I allow into my life.
That is why I do not wish I had a second chance to meet someone for the first time. Ne-va.
I only wish to meet new people for the first time.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.