‘Please don’t ever think that I need you in my life.. there was a time when we didn’t even know each other, and I was still doing just fine.’
Please don’t mistake my love for dependence. And don’t confuse love with need.
I may want you a lot, but don’t think I need you. Never measure love by how much someone ‘needs’ you or how much you need someone.. because that is not love. Don’t confuse need with love.
I want love, support, respect and many other things that I also give. I want to be accepted as I am, and everything that comes with me, just like I accept you. And if I do not get that in return, there is no reason for us to be together. No matter how much I may want you.. I know what I do not want and what I will not accept.
I know what I want. I know what I give. It matters to me how you treat me. How you behave both in the relationship and behind my back. And why you love me.
Because I understand the importance of self-love and boundaries. Love may be unconditional.. but relationships are not.
I know the importance of learning how to be alone and truly be okay with that. To be responsible for your own life, peace and happiness.. and to accept yourself. I had to learn all of that myself. And.. it is both transformative and freeing. We all should learn that.
So if you’re part of my life, it is because I want you to be part of it, if you want that too.. not because I need you. I do not need anyone.
Yes, of course I want love, support and many other beautiful things.. especially on those rainy days. But that is not the reason why I get into a relationship. I do not need love to complete me or make me happy. I want love because I know I deserve the same love I give.
And having someone who holds your hand, especially on those rainy days.. that is love.
It should happen naturally, without saying, without effort, when you truly love someone. That is the bare minimum.
You choose a partner with whom you can have all of that. Someone with whom you can share everything you carry within yourself instead of simply taking from each other, like many relationships nowadays.
The point is to build a peaceful and stable relationship where both people feel fulfilled. Not to destroy it because of needs, fears, emotional emptiness or loneliness.
You do not enter relationships to escape yourself. Or to look for someone to complete you, or make you happy, like common belief suggests. Or to distract you from how you feel.
That is why my love may be unconditional.. but your presence in my life is not.
I am doing just fine on my own. I feel good on my own. At peace.
And in order for me to be with you.. your presence should enrich my life instead of stealing my peace.
You should add value, peace and joy to my life instead of draining it.
In a way.. your presence competes with my solitude. Your presence should feel better than my solitude.. otherwise, why would I choose you?
Simply.. we both choose each other freely. We both decide what we want and who we choose.
Following the energy and feelings we receive from each other. And whether we feel at peace or not.
In order to be together, we both need to genuinely say: ‘Yes. I want this. I want to build something with you.’
‘You are worth it. Let’s build our home together.’
If you bring constant drama, stress and emotional chaos into my life.. then you simply will not be part of it.
It really is that simple.
Setting boundaries around what I will and will not accept is a powerful act of self-respect.
That is why it matters to me how you treat me, not simply how much I want you. Your place in my life depends on that.
If I am not special to you.. if I am not the only one in your eyes and you do not treat me that way.. then there is no point in continuing the story. Things go both ways.
Accepting you as you are does not automatically mean I accept you as part of my life. Do not confuse acceptance with approval.
I accept you as you are.. but I place you where you belong.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.