‘We as women are so programmed to base our worth on being desired and chosen that we forget to check in with ourselves to see if we have any actual interest in them.’
Dear you.. what is love to you? What does LOVING truly mean to you? Why do you want to be loved? And are you living in alignment with those answers?
The biggest problem today is that everything has become superficial. Love and relationships have been trivialized. Love is confused with lust. Appearance has become more important than what a person carries within. Relationships are often built around appearance and digital attention instead of deep emotional connection, where shallow validation replaces genuine self-worth and mutual understanding.
Today, being desired often seems more important than being truly known. Being wanted gives many people a false sense of power and self-worth. They no longer stop to ask who wants them.. or why. They simply want to be wanted.
It seems that form has become more important than substance. No, not Demi Moore’s The Substance. Although that movie perfectly illustrates what I am talking about.
Many of those beliefs are deeply rooted in our society. From an early age, women are taught to be ‘good girls’.. beautiful, well-groomed, obedient, polite.. always for someone else. Always because of someone else.
Because if we are not, sooner or later we hear: ‘Well, who would want you like that?’ We are told to dress up, wear make-up before going out.. because ‘you never know who you might meet.’
It is sad that human bodies are objectified. Even sadder is forgetting to stop and ask yourself: ‘Do I really want this?’ Should someone not love me for who I am.. even when I am messy, sad or without make-up? Instead of constantly trying to become beautiful for someone else while neglecting my own feelings and my essence?
We are taught to focus on other people. To seek their approval. To depend on their opinions. And for many reasons, that is deeply unhealthy. Eventually, you stop asking yourself: ‘What do I want?’ Instead, you keep asking: ‘What do others expect me to want?’
Did I choose the person I truly want.. or was I simply chosen? Because I also have the right to choose who I want beside me and what kind of relationship I want to build.
So.. bring the focus back to yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself for who you are, not for what you wear or put on yourself. Beautify yourself because it brings you joy, not because you believe you must earn someone else’s love, affection or validation.
Of course it feels good to be seen as beautiful and desirable. But never measure your worth by how much other people desire you. That road often leads to misery because your value becomes dependent on other people’s opinions.
Do not measure your worth by other people’s likes, compliments or opinions of you. Your value comes from within, not from digital likes, polite words or what other people think. Opinions change quickly, but your true worth should remain the same.
Do not accept a relationship simply because someone desires you physically. Being desired does not mean being valued, respected or loved. You have exactly the same right to choose who you want beside you.. and why.
You are not an object! How someone treats you will always matter far more than how much they desire you.
I was shy at school. I always felt different. I had attitude. I was never the popular girl. Of course, part of me wanted that back then, because wherever there were popular girls, there were also boys.. including my crush. And I wanted him to like me as much as I liked him. Ironically, we only ended up in a relationship after we had both finished school. Only then did I truly understand certain things.
Long story short.. today I am actually glad I was never that popular girl. I had my own personality, and because of that, not everyone approached me the way they approached the popular girls. Point taken?
Respect yourself for who you are. Nurture true values. And choose someone who values and loves you for who you are, not for how you look.
Never objectify yourself. BE THE SUBJECT, never the object, of your own life.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.