‘The most important thing in communication is to hear what is not said.’
All I can think when I read this quote is: why do people make things so complicated? Why can they not simply be honest and say what they think, what they feel, what they need, what they want instead of playing guessing games? Why does the person listening so often end up feeling like an interrogator?
Why?
Because people fucking lie. They manipulate. They gaslight.
I cannot stress enough the importance of healthy communication and honesty.. for the umpteenth time. What kind of communication can you expect when you feel more like a scanner than someone simply enjoying a conversation? It happens far more often than it should.
Every conversation would be easier if people honestly communicated what they think, what they feel and what they need.. and then allowed the other person to do the same, with the intention of understanding rather than reacting. Clear and honest communication creates deeper connections, builds trust and solves problems.
Unfortunately, that is often not the case. Many people do not live in harmony with themselves. Inner conflict often leads them to be dishonest with themselves first.. and then with others.
HEALTHY COMMUNICATION is crucial in every type of relationship. You cannot build anything strong and meaningful without honesty. It is like building a house of cards or a castle made of sand.. one breath of honesty is enough to bring it all down.
None of us can read other people’s minds.. nor should we have to. It is exhausting. It wastes time. It creates assumptions, which lead to misunderstandings and mistakes. It also creates unnecessary worry.
It is the responsibility of each of us to practice healthy, assertive communication.
So.. focus on yourself. Your way of expressing yourself. Your honesty.
Be honest with yourself, first.
YOUR RESPONSIBILITY is to be honest with yourself first.. then voice your truth with respect for the person you are talking to.
Do you communicate in a healthy way?
Because there is a fine line between honesty and rudeness.. and many people cross it when their ego takes over. Then the message is lost, and their personality dominates. A rude attitude suffocates the essence. Truth loses its power when ego overshadows empathy.
HOW you say something, your undertone, and above all YOUR INTENTION are extremely important. They speak volumes about you. They are what make all the difference between two people saying exactly the same thing.
So, considering all of this.. and the fact that so many people are not honest.. yes.. it seems that the most important thing in communication is to hear what is not said.
Yes, many people live in lies and communicate through lies. That is why you have to pay attention to the things that do not lie.. their energy. Their body language. Their actions.
Pay attention to the tone of their voice. Pay attention to their eyes.
These things reveal a person’s true intentions, because people often tell us what we want to hear.. instead of what they truly think and feel.
People often hide their true intentions behind polite words to get what they want, using indirect requests, flattery and strategic vagueness. Ask for clarification.
And.. choose people with whom you understand each other without a single word. Choose a partner who speaks the language of your soul. As I said, communication is the foundation of every relationship, especially when it comes to love.
Do not force communication when you feel as though you have reached a wall.. or when it has become one-sided. That cannot be healthy.
And if your partner labels your respectful expression of feelings as ‘an argument’, it signals a breakdown in communication and a lack of emotional safety.
When healthy dialogue becomes impossible, do not close yourself off. Close the door to anyone who does not respect you, does not listen to you, constantly interrupts you, deliberately misinterprets you, or simply refuses to communicate in a healthy way.