‘When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.’
There is one thing that toxic people, ignorant people and people with terrible breath seem to have in common. Whether they realise their impact on you or not hardly matters.. because in the end, you are the one who suffers and pays the price for it.
So you cannot make them change.. but you can change them. And you know what I mean.
Please remember this.
Next thing.. never underestimate the power of people in large groups. They usually follow the opinions of others without ever asking themselves whether something is right or wrong. It can become so extreme that even if someone tells them that two and two equals five, they will first look around.. and if everyone else nods, they will nod too and say: yes, that is correct.
Then.. because it is difficult for them to face and solve problems in their own lives, they become deeply interested in solving everyone else’s problems instead. They cannot wait to hear some gossip so they have something to discuss with others. Judging people, criticising them and spreading the story even further, naturally accompanied by their completely unsolicited opinions.
They turn flies into elephants.
Toxic news, fake news and gossip travel very fast. Gossip is invented by haters, spread by idiots and accepted by fools.
That is the world we live in. There is so much ignorance and such a lack of empathy. Rational people who actually use common sense seem surprisingly rare these days. Or is it not so surprising?
That does not mean they do not exist. Far from it.
People with integrity exist. People who use common sense exist. They are simply busy living their own lives. They are not loud. You will not find them running around spreading rumours or hurting other people for entertainment.
Satisfied people do not do that.
Authentic people are difficult to manipulate.. and yet they often become the favourite targets of gossip.
Knowing all of this, if you are a victim of gossip.. stay strong and stay above it. I know that is not easy. I have been there myself. But do not allow people who have no life of their own and who are deeply unhappy with themselves to define yours.
Try not to see yourself through their eyes.
Most of the time they are simply unhappy people full of suppressed anger.. and this is the way they choose to express it.
And if you are that who has a damaging and toxic influence on others.. well.. first, reflect on this.. and then.. perhaps it is time to read the second paragraph again.
Carefully this time.
So, dear.. focus on yourself. Focus on your own life. Become more aware and think before you speak. Think about the impact you have on other people.
You can completely dislike someone, even without an obvious reason.. and that is okay.
But do not recruit others to dislike them too.
That is not okay.
Do not waste your energy trying to convince others to trust you or to see you differently. Those who truly know you will not need explanations. And those who have already decided to stand against you will rarely believe them anyway.
So save your energy. Save your peace.
Not every accusation deserves a defence. Not every opinion deserves your attention. And not every battle deserves your participation.
Choose your battles wisely.
Sometimes silence protects your dignity far more than explanations ever could.
And..
Do not try to control others and do not manipulate others for your own interests.
It only reveals your weak character.. and the damage you are willing to cause in the lives of others.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.