Think Before You Speak
Disabled person? No.. no.. stop it! You’re using the word in a wrong way.. it’s such a wrong label for those who need our love. Hence.. The only disability is brain disability and being disabled to think/speak the right way. What is the right way? Kind way and Think Before You Speak way. Understanding, not judging. It is not that hard.
Yesterday I watched this video: Stella Young: I’m not your inspiration thank you very much! Stella I really want to hug you! If I only could! (R.I.P). But, thank you for pointing the problem out and thank you for speaking out how the things should be!
I had a severe motorcycle accident and I also have a disability.
Small or big, disability is still a disability. Thanks to my Superheroes I can go back to live my life normally, after 11 years. During that period, I never allowed anyone to feel sorry for me! NEVER! Not even to say that I am a brave, just because, despite everything I want to live my life to the fullest?! How absurd!
At first, listening to comments like these, they made me feel bad, because it was everything new to me. My life has changed in just one second. It took me a lots of time to get used to my “new” life. Wasn’t that hard enough, but I also had to listen to other people pitying me about MY LIFE. Really? I mean REALLY? There were moments when I actually had to comfort others who felt sad because of accident that happened to ME. TO ME.
There were moments that I needed to face, where people encouraged themselves by watching me in pain who despite it tries to live her life.
What’s wrong with this picture?!?!?! Me, in pain and struggle who was their motivation..! It should be like this: them helping me in difficulties to adapt to ‘my new life’.
Why people just can’t think before they speak! Ridiculous. Allow me to say – Ignorance. Hello empathy, where are you?
So what I want to share, is that I’ve learned that every single person speaks from its own perspective.
And that’s fine. What bothers me, is when people don’t want to work on their growth, consciousness, awareness, empathy, yet they let their ignorance speaks. Their ignorance speaks about other people’s lives. They hurt others with their judgments.
The thing is that we all have the same mental possibilities.
I’ve learned that people don’t think too much before they speak.
Especially not when they need to encourage, comfort someone. They simply say or do things automatically, which can have quite opposite effect for those who need true, kind word. Or not word at all. Sometimes listening to them or giving the hug to those in need is more than enough.
Usually, they listen to reply, not to understand. Or they say things thinking more about themselves than about others.
Either they are doing it, to encourage themselves(Yes!) seeing that there is someone doing worse than them (it speaks about their insecurities, unhappiness etc) or because they want to be nice (not just TO BE kind because simply they are, but they WANT to be nice, polite because they will look better in the eyes of others).. and like I said, the effect is quite opposite.. In both cases, their reactions speak about themselves.
Very few will have that real compassionate approach in order to help you, trying to understand you and make your life just a bit easier.
When I was in situations that someone have started speaking to me with that, oh so wrong, on so many levels, pitiful look: “Oh you can’t do this now, or that.. what will you do now?” etc. I would just shush them and I would say: “Yes, I CAN do anything, only on my way.” And trust me Yes, I did.
Remember that: We see the things as we are, not as they are. The only limitation is that which one sets up in one’s own mind. That’s what being disabled means. How do you feel reading this? Disabled?? How does it make you feel?
Also be aware that you can be in the similar situation tomorrow. You don’t know what life brings.
Firstly.. I was confused, because even tho I had obstacles, I wasn’t thinking that I won’t be able to do something. I was looking for the way to do thigs I wanted.. because.. where there is a will there’s a way! That’s why I didn’t understand their comments. But Matt Kahn explained it all:
“Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves.”
Next, what I’ve learned in that period is that the things are so simple.
I met so many “disabled” people, spending my time in hospital. “Disabled” people don’t want that you look at them like they are “disabled”! They don’t want to hear that word.. especially not to call them that way. This is such a wrong label! Giving labels is wrong anyway. They are just souls like everyone else. Like you. With dreams, ambitions..
They want to live their lives, with no strange looks, no pressure, no discrimination and especially they don’t want be objectified for the benefits of others (motivation, inspiration or whatever-else-shit so you can feel better about yourself..). Unfortunately, lack of empathy (..) leads us to this world as it is today..
So please I beg you all.. Don’t call them “disabled”, or handicapped! Don’t call them by any other name that is different than their own. Don’t put labels on anybody, we are all here to support and help each other. No bullying, no speaking without thinking, no judging.. start to change the world by changing yourself and your mindset.
And..
Dear all, don’t let that persons with “disability” inspire you. Be there to encourage them and make their life easier. And you, if you want something go and get it! Concentrate on your life. Work on yourself, on your empathy, emotional intelligence, on courage, give yourself an objective and let that be your motivation. Educate yourself, find your passion and NEVER NEVER NEVER compare yourself to anyone else, except to yourself and who you used to be! Be grateful for having an opportunity to live this precious life! And.. the most important thing:
LOVE! BE KIND! HELP OTHERS!
Last but not least.. Is there any way and any chance to forbid using the word ‘disabled’..?
Depending on when you’re reading this, I wish you either a beautiful day or a good night, you beautiful soul!
Love and namaste,
Irina 🦄💙
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