‘Stay away from people who always consider you expressing how you feel as you arguing or being extra. It’s called gaslighting. Toxic people do that so they don’t have to take accountability for their own behavior.’
‘Gaslighting’ originates from the 1938 stage play Gas Light by British playwright Patrick Hamilton, later adapted into the famous 1944 film Gaslight starring Ingrid Bergman. It describes a form of psychological manipulation where a husband slowly drives his wife insane by dimming the gaslights in their home, making lights flicker or moving objects — and then denying it when she points it out, insisting her perception is false.
Gaslighting is a form of persistent psychological manipulation and emotional abuse where someone makes you question your own memory, perception, or sanity in order to gain power and control.
These manipulation games are very common. And unfortunately, many people are not even aware of them.
Gaslighting can happen anywhere.. in families, friendships, the workplace, and in romantic relationships.
In these situations, it only takes one person to be aware of what is happening — either to walk away, or for the other person to recognize their behavior and work on themselves. The second one doesn’t happen often.
That’s why you need to protect yourself.
Gaslighting can be a very effective tool for an abuser to control someone.
And no — it’s not you. You’re not crazy.
If you have a constant, unsettling feeling that your reality is being manipulated.. if someone keeps questioning your perception, your memory, your sanity — pay attention.
Gaslighting is subtle. Insidious. And very real.
If someone minimizes and trivializes your feelings, telling you that you’re ‘too sensitive’ or ‘overreacting’, just to dismiss what you’re saying..
If someone tells you ‘you’re making things up’, trying to distort your memory of something that actually happened.. or denies something they clearly said — ‘I never said that’ — even though you know they did..
If someone keeps changing the subject, questioning your thoughts, or denying events that you clearly remember..
If someone projects onto you what they are doing, and accuses you of exactly that..
Then yes.. you may be experiencing this kind of abuse and manipulation.
The moment someone makes you question your sanity — stay away.
And to protect yourself, you need to rebuild both your self-trust and your self-confidence.
Trust your perception.
Set clear boundaries — and respect them.
Disengage from those conversations. Don’t play their game.
If you do stay in the conversation, stay grounded. Be assertive. Don’t fall into the trap of over-explaining yourself or feeling guilty for something you didn’t do.
Ask direct questions. Clear questions.
Say clearly that you’re not okay with being spoken to that way.
Keep records if needed — messages, screenshots. Ask for things in writing when it matters.
Be aware.
Take care of yourself. Stop questioning your reality.
Trust your intuition. If something feels off.. it probably is.
But above all — leave those kinds of relationships.
As I said, one aware person is enough.
You are not responsible for other people’s behavior.
But you are responsible for your own.
THEIR OPINION IS NOT YOUR REALITY.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.