‘You are responsible for how long you allow what hurt you to haunt you.’
You are responsible for your life. Your choices. Your decisions.
That is how you shape your inner world. Life outside can be very difficult. People will hurt you.. but your reaction to everything is your responsibility.
Hence, if you want a peaceful life.. you have to face all the situations life throws at you. And you must learn to accept people as they are.
It is not your age that makes you mature and responsible, but your behaviour regardless of your age.
You should face all the situations from your past that caused you trauma, and take time to heal the wounds you still carry within yourself.
Or at least become aware of them.. and work on them.
How do you discover them? Awareness is required. Pay attention to what provokes you — even people — your habits, thoughts, patterns and all the things that steal your peace and create restlessness within you.
Always ask yourself, when you respond with anger in a conversation with someone.. where does that anger come from? Did that person really hurt you.. or did they provoke something within you that still needs to be addressed and healed?
There is something special and unique about people who work on themselves, who let their resilience transform them into better and more beautiful human beings.
They do not use shabby, cheap excuses to justify their behaviour, like.. ‘I’m just like that’, past traumas or a difficult childhood.
Look, having a shitty childhood does not give you the right to become a shitty person. We all have some kind of past trauma.. so no, that alone does not amaze me. Many people use trauma as an excuse for their behaviour. But pain explains behaviour — it does not justify it.
So.. amaze me with your self-awareness, growth and ability to heal without hurting others. Amaze me with your understanding. Your wisdom. By spreading it and helping others do the same. Amaze me with your ability to create healthy and beautiful relationships
Therefore.. most people never heal because they stay trapped in their minds, replaying distorted scenarios. Be aware of that.
And.. be an example worth following.
If you want to feel fulfilled and find peace, happiness and joy.. then you have to work on it. You will never find peace by pushing things under the carpet or constantly blaming others. Peace only comes when you face the things that need to be addressed and when you stop carrying your past into your present.
Everything begins with self-love. Connect with yourself and love yourself. Then set boundaries from that place — from love.
Because people will hurt you. That is inevitable. But only as much as you allow them to.
That is why boundaries are so important. People do not know your limits.. but you must know them.
Because if you do not know them, people will continue to hurt you, and you will continue allowing it while blaming them for it. And that way.. you solve nothing and never find your peace.
There is no excuse for bad behaviour. But you cannot change others — only yourself.
If you do not face things from your past or your present.. they will continue to haunt you and disturb your peace.
Whatever it is.. unspoken emotions, unexpressed love, regrets about things you wanted to do but never did, unlearned lessons or non-acceptance of people and situations as they are.
You drag all of that into your present, leaving traces wherever you go and on whoever you meet.. and eventually recreate the same or very similar future.
It is easier for many people to blame their ex-partners than to find the lesson and solution within their failed relationships.
And there are also people who blame themselves, allowing thoughts like: ‘How could I let this happen to me?’
Instead of accepting that it happened, learning the lesson and finding peace through acceptance and understanding.
Do not be so harsh on yourself. You were a different person back then.
Remember.. you cannot change others or control their behaviour. You can only change and control yourself.
And we learn a lot about love from situations that were not love.
Keep this in mind: the ghosts of the past can neither haunt you nor hurt you.. unless you allow them to — by running away from them, avoiding them or refusing to face and accept them.
This isn’t the only text. But today, it might be enough.